Hard Time

You know, my problems are inconsequential.

We had CNN on tonight as the girls were going to bed, and we watched some of the reports of the devastation from Katrina.

Anything I have ever complained about is bullshit compared to what these people are facing. So many people have lost absolutely everything they had. One man had to let go of his wife, as she was telling him to take care of the kids, the grandkids.

I love my family, I love my friends, and tonight is a night to rejoice in all of God’s many blessings. We are safe.

I will continue to pray for the people whose lives have been forever changed by this natural disaster.

An Open Letter

Dear Boobies,

Thank you for your time of service. You have done your job well since this time 4 years ago, when you were first drafted when I became pregnant with Helen.

Yesterday, I think, ended your service. Rather than have a “last time” nursing Alice and getting all maudlin and tearful, I decided after the fact that yesterday’s naptime was The Last Time.

It’s tougher on the mommy to end a nursing relationship than it is for the baby — babies adapt amazingly well to whatever gets thrown at them, for the most part. And Alice is no exception. As long as she gets the just-before-bed snugglefest, she’s happy. The nursing was just a bonus, but she certainly didn’t need it for nutrition. She’s a BIG fan of milk (Lactaid whole milk), so I know she’s getting what she needs from that. But it’s hard for the mommy — a chapter is closing, and for me, I know it’s closing forever. No more babies, no more nursing, no more uninterrupted snuggle time with babies where the infant nuzzles in and the hormones cause me to relax so completely. It’s a beautiful feeling, and so peaceful. And she’s growing up; it’s time to stop.

The main reasons I have to stop NOW as opposed to letting it just go on indefinitely… I will be having surgery September 22 and will be on massive pain killers that Alice cannot — must not — have, even filtered. So she had to be weaned before my surgery. Which is why I have put off my surgery this long — the surgeon thought I was nuts to be willing to continue living with the level of convenience I have been, but I told him that her health was far more important than my convenience, and I could wait a year.

In order to have my surgery and have it go as smoothly as possible, I have had to go back on The Pill to time things appropriately. And Alice doesn’t need THAT either. I thought I was done with The Pill. Apparently, not for another 6 weeks or so.

So. Yesterday it was. And it was a beautiful time — she was sweet, and snuggly, and warm, and sleepy, and very happy to be there. And I will remember that moment forever.

Thank you. You’ve served us well. Helen, Alice, and I all appreciate it. In exchange, I promise to do monthly exams to keep you healthy.