Back away from the computer. Or close this window. Because I am about to tell you too much information.
I very much look forward to the day, in the distant future, when I do not cry while sitting on the toilet.
3 weeks, 4 days. Dear GOD.
Hey, Google. I am going to make it so anyone facing this surgery can find me: Anal Sphincteroplasty. Anyone who finds their way here because of this post and wants to know about this surgery, please email me with questions. I will be totally candid about my experience, which you may or may not want. But there it is.
I know you warned me. But it was like a car wreck.. I could not look away.
Oh, dear…I wish I could DO something for you!!! Poor E.
Awwwwww {{{Elaine}}}. I know you know what you should do, so I’ll not harp on you. For now. But go rest!!
So I have to admit that Nancy and I did in fact briefly discuss your bowel habits before dinner. Well, okay, not that per se, but definitely how worried we are about your recovery efforts.
So far today I have had a shot of mineral oil, 6 prunes, 3 Colace tablets, McDonald’s French fries, and I’ll probably have a Dulcolax at bedtime. Maybe another shot of mineral oil, too, just for good measure.
I really think that my pain issues have had more to do with the rich food I ate this weekend and less to do with the fact that I stood up yesterday.
Oh that’s way believable…. I remember reading a book in college “Linden Hills” where one of the main characters plans his meals by how they’ll come out the other side… I remember thinking how BIZARRE and control-freak-esque that was… UNTIL NOW.