Frustrated.
I want to tell my surgeon to please give any future patient that is facing this surgery my name and phone number, so that they will have a better idea of what they are preparing to face. Because I was not prepared for this.
I knew it would take a while. I knew that part of the incision would be left open to heal on its own, in order to reduce the risk of a fistula that would require further surgery. But I really had no idea of the extent of what I would be facing. I didn’t realize that two weeks after the surgery, I’d still feel like this. With no discernable end in sight.
Four weeks from now…. Six weeks from now, more realistically, I’ll be on the fabled Other Side, and I’ll be glad. But damn. I’m going to freaking hate October.