Flop flop flop flop

I’m at a strange point in my life. Uncharted waters for me.

I used to have a niche. I was the young married, no kids, active in theatre, creative and crafty person. I had other young married/no kids friends, I had friends active in theatre, and I had creative and crafty friends.

Currently I feel like a fish out of water. Because of my three years of essentially hibernating, due to the fact that I never quite knew what horrors my rear end would subject me to in public, I have alienated myself from a lot of my social outlets. And honestly? I don’t miss all that socializing that much. I’ve never been a party girl (except for maybe my sophomore year in college), so living without it hasn’t been that much of a stretch.

But it’s strange. I kind of hunger for the right “niche” for me… And I don’t really fit in with the young marrieds with young kids group currently. Jerry says I’m “old for my age,” and I guess that’s true. I definitely don’t fit in with the theatre crowd like I used to, because I’m too cheap to buy tickets to go see shows, and too busy at home to be involved enough that I could sneak in for free. So there’s a whole culture down there that I’m not even part of anymore. My quilting friends are lots of fun, but I’m the young-and-hip one of that group, which always strikes me as funny.

There is one group of women that I am very close to. Several of them I have known for about six years now, and I know that we will probably be friends until we’re all old. And I love that. The only problem is that we live all over the place, and none of them lives near me. California, California, Texas, Texas, Texas, Michigan, Michigan, and Illinois. This is the group of women I got together with in March, and I have never laughed so hard for so long as I did that week. The Sonic Beverage incident on the interstate in particular. Gah, that was hilarious.

I miss you ladies. I wish we were all local, because IM sessions just aren’t enough. I loved in March that I could just totally be myself and not have to hide behind any pretenses of what you might think of me. You had already seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and so I was just ME. That was incredible. Thank you.

13 thoughts on “Flop flop flop flop”

  1. I think you’re simply in a different niche… you just gotta find the other members. It’s not just the mothers with toddlers & preschoolers niche, or the quilters niche, or even the quilting mothers with toddlers & preschoolers niche.

    It’s… complicated. I know. I know because I haven’t figured out my niche, much less found other members yet.

  2. Not that you asked for suggestions or even opinions, but I will say that as someone who has never really fit in any niche.. I’ve learned more and made more friends from never trying to fit any niche.

    I mean, hell, E.. you and I are in no sort of niche together, other than our birthdays happening on the same day.

    But I count you among my friends. 🙂

    Differences are not flaws. They are just differences. 🙂

    You’re loved.

  3. It’s not that I WANT to fit in… I just currently don’t have anywhere that I feel comfortable right now. I’m “not quite right” anywhere.

  4. I’ve been largely without a niche since… oh… the end of college, when my group of friends all scattered.

    Now I’m used to being largely nicheless.

  5. What I’ve discovered is that it really is best to hang with those that enrich you. Even if you’re on the couch in Alabama, and IM’ing with your pals in distant places.

    I’ve got a wide circle of people that I know, and will call my ‘friends’. However, I don’t necessarily want to do stuff with all of those ‘friends’. See them at a restaurant, party, country club, gym, acknowledge them with casual conversation but I don’t feel the need to spend any more in-depth time with them. Part of it is my community connections. I guess I find it better to keep my cards close to my vest, cuz you just never know about some of these people!

    BUT. The absolute best is being able to be totally honest, dirty, funny, silly with that group from March. Or just be silent. Enjoying that energy.

    I suppose I’ve always been ‘nicheless’ so I’m not sure that I’m missing out on anything!

  6. Dang, Elaine. I miss you. So many times, I think, “Who could I call? Who would wanna do this with me? Who would appreciate this story/movie/book like I am?” So often, it’s Elaine. In freaking ALABAMA!

    I completely understand the niche thing. For many years, I was the only one of my friends who was married with a kid. When I made friends with other Moms, I was so YOUNG compared to them. Now, with Moms of Dani’s friends, I’m still young. But with Moms of the boys’ friends, I’m old. It’s a weird thing.

    I found my niche, though, through Fortress. I prayed for 2 years for God to provide me with real friendships. (Sherilyn was in Holland, and I missed her terribly.) He provided that through inner city ministry. I never EVER pictured myself there. My niche was where I least expected it.

    Keep looking. You’ll find yours, too. But in the meantime, this niche we’ve got on IM ain’t too shabby! Love you!

  7. Well, Anjali, you were a Party Girl Extraordinaire right there with me, so I’d expect that you’d remember it… or that NEITHER of us would be able to remember it… One or the other… Tee hee.

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