Logic is DETERMINED to get out of the back yard. Why, you ask? Because he doesn’t think he should have to poop outside. He prefers the living room. And he thinks that he should only ever have to lift his head from his velvet fringed pillow when someone wants to skritch him or offer him food. (And no, he doesn’t actually HAVE a velvet fringed pillow. We own Collies, not poodles. Ha!)

Stupid dog.

He didn’t poop in the living room today, but I did spot him in the front of the house, on the driveway, only about 2 minutes after I put him and Linus in the back yard for their morning constitutional.

Apparently, he’s digging and pushing his way out under the fence in the very back between our hard and the ditch, and then walking the ditchline to the neighbor’s yard, and then coming to stare in our back door. Jerry has blocked the original passage point, but Logic rerouted. And over the weekend, Jerry drove fence-spikes down into the ground to hold the fence better. Logic has found another passage point.

DAMN. This dog, as sweet as he is, is an absolute pain in the ass. He will NOT pee or poop on a leash (never has), so taking him “for walks” won’t work. He’s GOT to be let out and given some time to be there, but he doesn’t WANT to be outside. He wants to be inside. All the damn time. Until that point when he’s absolutely desperate to pee or poop, and then he whines and paces neurotically until you let him out. This wouldn’t be a problem, except that we’re not always HERE when he starts that up. Hence the living room issue.

LAST weekend, I was steam-cleaning the living room carpet at 7:15am on Saturday. It looks like we have new carpet in there, which is nice. But no, it’s the same light beige nightmare that’s always been in there. What were the previous owners THINKING?!

Stupid dog.