Miss Match

So on Thursday, Alice and I made a quick trip to Parisian before we went to pick up Helen. Clinique was having some sort of “audition” for foundations, so you could pick the best one for you. A lady flagged me over and Alice was in a good mood in her stroller, so I sat in their little chair and handed Alice a toy.

“What kind of foundation are you using now?”
“Do you know what color?”
“Yeah — Death Mask. No, Corpse. Oh, no, wait… Alabaster. But it’s not QUITE the right color.”
“So, would you like to see if we have a better color for you? Do you like the coverage of the Superbalanced?”
“I do like Superbalanced. Whatever we try, it must be oil-free.”

So she pulls out three bottles of foundation and puts a little dab of each on my jawline. Then she hands me a mirror.

“This one is Cream, which is a little too light. This one in the middle is Alabaster, which is really your best match. And then this one is Breeze, which is a little darker.”

She takes the mirror and hands me a kleenex to wipe off the dabs of foundation.

“So, would you like to get either of the other two today?”


After I said no as politely as I could, she told me about some bronzing powders that they have, so that I could look “sun-kissed.” Would I like to try one of those?

Um, in November? No. For me, Miss Pale As A Ghost, to look sun-kissed in November would be absurd.

At least it wasn’t the vulture woman that usually inhabits the Clinique counter. That woman drives me up the wall, because if I walk by she practically attacks me. Apparently does the same thing to my mother, too. And lately, I’ve only been buying the skin care products and foundation from them, because I’m bored with their colors.



I went to my eye doctor this morning for a contact lens fitting (they fit, and I have 20/20 vision with them, so that’s good), and to have my tear ducts flushed out. They get clogged. I know, I’m a freak.

Anyway. I’ve been noticing recently that both of my eyes are watering more than they should be, which was the precursor to my right tear duct getting infected 7 years ago.

So this morning, the eye doctor tried to flush out both eyes using a syringe and needle and saline solution, while his assistant plugged the top opening of the tear duct shut with a Q-tip. He did about 4-5 flushes on the right side, and maybe 3 on the left. We’re not sure if it worked, but I’ll know in a day or two.

The plan is that, if it worked, great, I’ll just go back for my checkup in a year. If it didn’t work, I’ll have to go see an eye surgeon so that they can force out the obstruction, whatever it is, with a wire.


But an infected tear duct hurrrrrts. So if this didn’t work, I guess I’ll proceed as directed.

Why can’t I have normal problems? When my warranty runs out, Jerry’s going to trade me in, I just know it.