Crackhouse Trip Thwarted

Well, I went to my appointment with the surgeon, and they were backed up (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I’m punny), so I didn’t get in to see him until 11:20ish or so. I had a tutoring appointment at 11:35, which I was about 10 minutes late for. So I didn’t get to go to get my thread. Until 4:30. So I DID get it. I just didn’t get it when I had anticipated getting it.

ANYway.

This is an update on my recovery progress, not really a thread report. Since I know you guys would MUCH rather hear about my ass gash (say that three times fast) than my thread inventory.

So. Two weeks ago, the surgeon was “concerned” because there was a “communication” between my wound and my colon that might turn into a fistula and require additional surgery.

    There were three scenarios possible:

  1. It could heal up all by itself, closing the communication, and I would require no additional surgery or anything. This is obviously the best case scenario.
  2. It could heal partially, causing a smallish fistula, but I would still have control (known as “continence” in the medical world). This would require a small surgery and not a long recovery to close the communication.
  3. Or, worst case, it could heal into a large enough fistula to cause me continence issues, and though I’d have muscle control, I’d also have some… uh… leakage issues. So basically I’d have to have a re-incision of my entire original incision, except for the muscle repair part of it. Which would be another 6-8 weeks of recovery.

So. He wanted to see me every week to monitor progress. Opening it back up didn’t make sense, in case it WAS going to heal up fine, but if it became obvious that it was going to turn into option #3 above, he was going to recommend just going back in and opening the incision again. So it was best to monitor how I was doing. I was instructed (two weeks ago) to keep having nightly Sitz baths and taking all of my laxatives and eating mostly soft foods and lots of fruit, and to pray for the best. There wasn’t a whole lot I could do, aside from keeping things as clean as possible, to help the results. It would just do whatever it was going to do, and the only thing to do was wait.

And, not being a freakish worrier, I just did what he told me to do, since that was the only thing I can control. I’ve had at least one Sitz bath every day since the surgery, sometimes two. I’ve been very neurotic about packing the wound with gauze and keeping everything as clean as I possibly can. I have been a VERY good patient, all things considered (and especially considering my hyperactive personality).

Well. Today, he checked everything out, and determined that the communication is MUCH smaller than it was two weeks ago. And looks like it’s going to close up on its own. He said he didn’t want to promise anything, but that it really looks to him like we might be done with the big nasty surgery. So at worst, I might be looking at option #2. But in his words, he’s “cautiously optimistic” about everything, and he said that things look GREAT. And my control, even on laxatives, is better than I used to have.

The only big life change that I’m going to face is that forever and ever, I will have to have some sort of fiber supplement (Metamucil or whatever) to help things along, because when he sewed the muscle back together, it obviously lost some circumference, which means it is much more snug than it used to be. Which means MEGApain if I get constipated. And I need to drink LOTS of water, and I’m thinking that prunes will become my new favorite snack. Okay, fine. I can do that.

Wonderful news from the surgeon, though. What’s that? A light? At the end of the tunnel? I think I see it.

God bless that surgeon, and every staffer in his office. Those are the nicest people I have EVER dealt with in my medical life. Wow. I cannot speak highly enough of them.

8 thoughts on “Crackhouse Trip Thwarted”

  1. Ok. Let us review.

    Less fruit.

    More McD’s fries.

    One is bulky.

    The other is slippery.

    ….it’s your ass….

  2. True. However, I like the fact that I have gotten rid of my fat clothes. Unfortunately, due to the high-fat low-veggie diet I have had for the past 5 weeks, I am now SORRY that I gave away my fat clothes.

    Just sayin’.

  3. I attempted to post once…it was so incredibly witty! Technical difficulties got in the way, and I lost my post.

    So. I’ll spare you my sick sense of humor, and simply say, glad that everything came out o.k. today!!

    Bwahahahahaha!!

  4. I’m sorry, but I just cannot put together a coherent post when we’re talking about your ass. WAY too excited.

    Love you!

  5. So I’m very proud of you. And prunes are a blessing. We had them shoved down our throats when we were little.. to sugarcoat them, my mother called them “Candy-fruit”. They’re still prunes. But they’re good at what they do.

    I’m still keeping an eye out for an occassion for the New York Dress.

  6. I think I’ll just sit around in the New York Dress and read the newspaper or something. 🙂 Because I can.

  7. Just like how people say “Who are you saving the good china for? Celebrate life and use it on a random Tuesday.”

    I say wear the NY dress to the supermarket and strut up and down the produce section checking out cucmbers or something. Give someone a thrill.

  8. Yeah, but I’m thinkin’ I’ll wait until I’m not wearing disposable underwear anymore. Something tells me that Depends Undergarments, while sexy, would disrupt the smooth line of the New York Dress.

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