I have thirteen years of classical piano training.
I have three years of classical voice training.
I have zero years of orchestral training. I am not accustomed to looking at a score and counting out the beats until my entrance, much as an instrumentalist would do. It’s a completely foreign concept to me. I need to see what the whole orchestra is doing — read the score on the page and how my part relates to the whole — before I can fully grasp it. And I need to see and hear it at full tempo, not just in slo-mo during rehearsals. Then, and maybe then, I might understand when I’m supposed to start singing and be able to do it at full speed.
Throwing your hands up in frustration when I miss the entrance — again — is not the way to inspire me to work harder for you. It just makes me angry and makes me think you’re unreasonably mean.
I went home last night, cried angry tears, finished a bottle of wine, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. And I was still irritated when I woke up this morning.
Act 1 was reasonably good last night, at least. I can hold on to that, I suppose. I found my character (finally), and felt good about that. But Act 2 is just so freaking HARD.
I think it’s going to be a while before I want to do any theatre again.
Hugs.
As Steph said last night when someone gave me the wrong cue and then blamed me for my non-entrance, “What, Sarah? Is your telepathy not working correctly tonight?”
Oh, I’m sorry.
Break a leg, though.
Sondheim is SO HARD! Don’t take her personally. It IS hard, even for “professionals”. But I agree with you, getting angry at you isn’t helping the situation at all! The job of a director and musical director is to HELP YOU HEAR IT! So, not your fault. You are going to do just great!!! And don’t take a break from Theatre.
Just comfort yourself with the knowledge that you are not the only made to feel that way… I’m sorry. It isn’t right.