Stupid Weather

I’m supposed to be going to a two-night scrapbooking retreat at a wonderful B&B/retreat center on Smith Lake in north-central Alabama today. I was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago.

But the weather is ominous.

Right now, skies are blue and the clouds are fluffy and my car has been packed for several hours. I have been dreaming about this retreat all week, and I have had all of my scrapbooking stuff packed up since Monday (!) to be prepared to go. I was SO EXCITED.

But the weather is ominous.

The city schools are closing early because of what’s coming. They’re telling people to stay off the roads and get home to their families, and to please take this seriously. The Weather Channel is talking lots and lots about tornado safety.

Because the weather is ominous. It’s unseasonably warm and VERY humid outside. Perfect tornado-brewing weather.

Friends of mine left this morning and are already there, probably elbow-deep in their photos and paper now. I’m jealous. I’m here, scrubbing caramel out of the carpet that Alice dropped this morning, telling Logic to stop barking at the cars that drive by, and changing the catboxes.

I called off the babysitter that I had scheduled to arrive at 1pm, because I didn’t think it was really fair to ask a 14-year-old girl to sit with two little kids in a strange house in the event that the sky turns green. She’d probably want to be home with HER mom, and my kids would probably want to be with THEIR mom.

So I’m here.

Like carrying an umbrella to ward off the rain, I fully expect this all to dissipate and turn into a non-event, and then I’ll be pissed that I missed the first night of the retreat. I will be getting up at the crack of dawn and driving down tomorrow, probably. Going so late means that I’ll get the LAST pick of a table, so I’ll probably spend a very uncomfortable day scrapping on a postage-stamp of a table, squished over in one corner.


Good thing I’m not bitter about it. Bitterness would just make it worse.

Stupid weather.


In the car, we’ve been listening to the soundtrack from the revival of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” I have found that show tunes are a good thing to listen to in the car, because Jerry can’t stand them, and Helen and Alice like them. Most of the time, it’s just us girls in the car together, so everybody wins!

Anyway… Helen’s favorite song is “My New Philosophy,” a duet between Sally Brown (Charlie Brown’s little sister) and Shroeder, where she’s discussing her new philosophies on life. The buildup to the song is a little dialogue between Sally and Shroeder:

Sally: “Oh, yeah? That’s what YOU think.”
Shroeder: “What?!”
Sally: “That’s my new philosophy. ‘Oh, yeah? That’s what YOU think.'”
Shroeder: “Why are you telling me?”
Sally: “What?”
Shroeder: “WHY are you telling ME?”
Sally: (imitating Shroeder) “WHY are you telling ME? [pause] I LIKE IT!

Helen and I take turns playing/singing the parts of Sally and Shroeder, and we were going along like this on the way out to Madison to drop the girls off for their Tuesday playdate with Jerry’s mom….

Mommy: “WHY are you telling ME?”
Helen: “WHY are you telling ME?”
Alice: I YIKE IT!!

Helen and I completely cracked up, because Alice’s timing was flawless and completely overlapped the girl on the CD.

And now I know where she’s gotten that saying, because she says it all the time — if she likes her outfit, her food, her juice, being outside. If she likes it, she tells me.

“Mommy, I yike it. I yike it, Mommy.”


Finally. The children woke up hungry. It’s about TIME.

Helen came upstairs at 7:07 and was VERY. GRUMPY. Huuuuuuuge frowny face. The one I make when I’m admonishing her for pushing her little sister.

I had just gotten out of the shower and was standing there partially-dressed. She pointed at the door to our bedroom. “I want FOOD. Go NOW.” Frowny face continued.

“Let me get dressed, Helen.”

Helen hasn’t really eaten much of anything since last Wednesday. Six days ago. Pieces of toast here and there, a few crackers, maybe two small pieces of chicken. Yesterday she had about a tablespoon of corn. Her ribs are clearly visible now. I’d worry, except that Helen always gets the stomach bug first, has it the longest, and gets her appetite back last. She’ll eat like crazy for the rest of the week, if history repeats itself.

Alice, who had another “incident” as recent as last night, also woke up STARVING. She had a *meltdown* first thing when I told her that juice wasn’t a good idea because it will just upset her tummy. They are so very tired of Gatorade. So I gave her watered-down apple juice. She drank about 12 ounces immediately, and spit up a little bit of it — I think her tummy was shocked to have that volume in it after such a long respite. She’s held the rest down down for over an hour now, so that’s good.

They both had a baggie full of reduced-sugar Fruit Loops, and seem to have improved demeanors now…. Poor little kids have had a rough week. I’m glad that maybe they’ll actually eat now. 🙂

Do Over

We would like to request a Do Over of our weekend.

It started out well enough, I guess… It appeared that Helen was on the mend from the Second Annual Barf Extravaganza, and I went to my UFO night at the quilt shop and got a lot done.

About 90 minutes into my evening, I started getting a play-by-play in text messaging from Jerry, who sent me periodic updates on Alice’s digestive condition throughout the evening.

When I got home, Jerry was pale, Helen and Alice were both asleep, and I was starting to feel not-so-good myself.

It became a competition.

Yep, all four of us had a stomach bug simultaneously. I don’t mean “simultaneously” in the sense of …. concurrent. I mean “simultaneously” in the sense of SIMULTANEOUS.

My jeans were loose for the first time in months when I put them on this morning. I know that weight is just going to come back, but it was kind of nice. And today I actually feel human, which is a nice change from the icky of the weekend.

However, I wish we could have a weekend from our weekend. What a miserable way we had to spend it. 🙁