A day in the life

Just a minute.
Helen, I’m on the PHONE.
Alice, put that back.
Why is the refrigerator open?
Where is your sister?
Where’s Alice?
What’s Alice doing?
What’s that noise?
Why is the water running?
Alice, STOP DOING THAT.
Alice, where do we go potty?
Helen, don’t bite your sister.
YES, Helen.
No, you may not have ice cream until after dinner.
EAT your PIZZA.
No more junk food.
You may have carrots.
No, you may not have cookies.
I have already answered that question.
Alice, go get dressed.
Alice, why aren’t you dressed?
Alice, put your panties back on.
Alice, where are your panties?
Helen, go find your shoes.
WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?
Please stop saying my name like that.
What did you say?
I’m sorry, I can’t understand you when you whine like that.

I think I’m going to be one of those parents that squeals out of the parking lot on the first day of school.