“Moooommmm? Is it seven-thirty yet?”
“Moooommmm? Can we come in yet?”
“Moooommmm? Can I have some juice?”
“Moooommmm? Can I have some cookies?”
“Moooommmm? Who’s coming over today?”
“Moooommmm? When will I be turning six?”
“Moooommmm? When is Kate coming?”
“Moooommmm? When is Athena’s birthday party?”
“Moooommmm? Is it time for Athena’s birthday party yet?”
“Moooommmm? How many minutes now?”
“Moooommmm? Can we go to the pool today?”
“Moooommmm? Do I have to have swimming lessons?”
“Moooommmm? I want to watch Cars.”
“Moooommmm? The DVD player isn’t working.”
“Moooommmm? I think Alice broke it again.”
“Moooommmm? Can I come in there?”
“Moooommmm? I’m hungry.”
“Moooommmm? Can we do an activity today?”
“Moooommmm? I want to go to the pool.”
“Moooommmm? I promise I’ll try hard swimming today.”
“Moooommmm? Are you going for a walk?”
“Moooommmm? When will you be back?”
“Moooommmm? I can’t find Darla.”
“Moooommmm? I can’t find my flashlight.”
“Moooommmm? I need another kiss and hug.”
“Moooommmm? Good night.”
Next thing out of that child’s mouth is going to be “Moooommmm? Put down that knife.”
WHY ON EARTH DOES SHE HAVE TO START EVERY. SINGLE. UTTERANCE. THAT WAY???
I’ve been complaining about this for weeks. Finally, today, Jerry had had enough of it and said, “HELEN. Leave your mother ALONE!”
They’re at the pool. I am not. I am enjoying not being beckoned with a whine for the short respite. Ahhh.
Helen in a floatie:
Helen gets a peptalk from Brock, her swimming instructor:
Helen swims ALONE for the very first time!!!
Alice is worn. out.
Helen doesn’t really like the swim lessons but she adores her swim instructor, so that helps. Because of her crush on him, we figure she’ll be swimming soon. Alice, for some reason, is less enchanted — every time Brock talks to her she covers her eyes so that she’s “invisible.”
ARCHAEOLOGY: the study of material remains
Q. What’s the oldest article of clothing you still wear?
A. A sweatshirt I bought at the Gap my senior year in high school (17 years ago)… I wear it when I’m painting. Doesn’t count? You want stuff I wear out in public? Hmmm… Shorter list. Probably a Steamboat shirt from 1997.
Q. What’s the oldest article of clothing you won’t get rid of?
A. A baby dress my mother wore in 1942.
Q. When was the house/building you live in built?
Q. What in your fridge needs to be thrown out?
A. Chicken I bought last Sunday and didn’t use since I was at the pool so much.
BIBLIOLOGY: the study of publication
Q. What are you reading?
A. Quilting books and scrapbooking magazines, mostly. But as soon as the girls are more comfortable in the water I’ll be able to crack out my summer reading list.
Q. Do you have a favorite quote?
A. “If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” –Vincent van Gogh
Q. What’s the most recent music you purchased?
A. Probably “Honky Cat” by Elton John off of iTunes, back in March. I don’t buy music very often.
Q. What book could you read again without being bored?
A. I want to read The Life of Pi again. I agree with Stacy on this one. LOVED that book.
CARDIOLOGY: the study of the heart
Q. How old were you the first time you fell in love?
A. First time in love with the person and not with the idea…. I was 15. He was a very good friend of my best friend’s brother. Very nice guy.
Q. What charities do you have a heart for?
A. Make a Wish Foundation… Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation… Alzheimer’s Association… Fantasy Playhouse Children’s Theatre…
Q. What’s the best way someone can show their love for you?
A. Empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, and change the litterboxes without being nagged.
Q. Name five things you “love”:
A. a clean kitchen, children that smell like baby soap, wagging collie tails, someone else cooking dinner, a really good salad.
PHYSIOLOGY: the study of physical function
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Q. Do you like your smile?
A. Paid a lot of money for this smile, so yeah. I wish it were whiter, though, but the yellowness is genetic.
Q. What’s your best feature?
A. collarbones. I really like a good squareneck or V-neck shirt on me. Which is why my wedding dress was a deep V-neck.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Three moles.
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Absolutely my sense of smell. Jerry HATED it when I was pregnant. One day he went to lunch in someone else’s car, when he came home from work I could tell him whose car it was, and where they went for lunch. I’m blind as a bat so I think my sense of smell is bat-like, too.
OMNOLOGY: the study of everything
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Orange. I wear it BECAUSE I CAN. (You knew I was going there, Stacy. Couldn’t let you down)
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. A bug when waterskiing, maybe, but otherwise, no.
Q. What’s your favorite flavor of gum?
A. Orbit Sweet Mint
Q. Where’s the first place you went today?
Q. Do you stand or sit in the shower?
AXIOLOGY: the study of the nature of values and value judgments
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. No. The public must be spared that lovely experience.
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Of course.
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Q. What value is of utmost importance to you in a friend?
Q. Would you accept an indecent proposal for $1,000,000?
A. Probably not. I can joke that I would “if he’s on The List Of Five,” but I’m too prude to actually go through with it.
TECHNOLOGY: usage and knowledge of tools and crafts
Q. What’s the last movie you saw?
A. “An Inconvenient Truth” on DVD, or the second half of “Shredderman” on Nickelodeon. I’m such a parent.
Q. What’s the first website you visit when you log on?
A. Much to Jerry’s dismay I load about 10 simultaneously. But I go to gmail first.
Q. What’s your ring tone?
A. A boring ring, and I try to grab it while it’s still vibrating but before it starts ringing. I think ringing cell phones are obnoxious.
Q. Would you quit blogging for $25,000?
A. Probably. If someone wants to pay me that much to shut up, then allrighty then. Make the check out to…
Q. What piece of equipment do you wish you owned?
A. A double oven.
GENEALOGY: the study of relationships within families
Q: Is there a specific family member you’re really missing right now?
A: My brother Pete and his family in Virginia. We always laugh until we hurt, and the girls get along great.
Q. Who is your oldest living relative?
A. Nana Helen, who’s 93. I need to call her. I’ll try to remember to do that tomorrow while I’m sitting at the pool.
Q. Are you named after anyone?
A. Nana Helen. Elaine is a variant.
Q. Is there anyone really famous in your family tree?
A. William Penn.