Funny Alice Story

I was just relating this story to Stacy in an IM session online… Thought I’d share the text with you, because it’s very amusing, if I do say so myself. And I do. Because I’m like that.

me: Tonight, after Jerry got home, I took the girls to Qdoba (little tex-mex wraps place about a mile from here) to get dinner. It’s a lot like Freebirds without the sculptures
Anyway. They LOVE going there, but Alice is currently doing the North American Potty Tour
So she announced LOUDLY that she NEEDED TO POOP ON THE POTTY as I was waiting for our food to be made
which echoed
all over
the
restaurant

Stacy: LOL!
go Alice!

me: I told her to wait.
NO!
Alice, please wait just a minute
NO!
And she went into the bathroom, accompanied by Helen
who then came out and announced, “MOM! She really DID need to POOP IN THE POTTY. SHe really DID!”
(sigh)

Stacy: LOL!!!

me: So then Alice comes out, pants around her ankles, diaper nowhere to be found, and penguins out to me: “MOMMY! I POOPED IN THE POTTY! I POOPED IN THE POTTY!”

Stacy: “penguins”?

me: Drop your drawers around your ankles and try to walk. You walk like a penguin.

Stacy: AW
LOL!!!!

me: SO.
I shuffle her back into the bathroom, take care of things, pull her pants up (diaper is down in the closed trash at this point — at least she disposed of it properly, right?), and tell her to PLEASE make sure she does not pee in the car. PLEASE wait until we get home, because Mommy didn’t bring a diaper.
She assures me that she doesn’t need to go BECAUSE SHE JUST POOPED IN THE POTTY.
I paid for our food and got the hell outta there.
I’m sure they laughed their asses off after we left.
Alice’s other favorite place to loudly announce her potty prowess is during the sermon at church.

Stacy: ROFLOL
snickersnickersnicker
Darren just called me The Chuckler again

me: I was busting a gut inside but I could. not. laugh. lest she think that this is desirable behavior.

Stacy: I just read the story to DArren, who’s now chucking too
lol!

me: [grin]

Stacy: Blog that

me: I’m posting it on SS with your comments
if that’s OK with you

Stacy: seriously. You’ll wanna remember

me: OK

Stacy: s’okay with me

me: My mom thinks I should do a scrapbook page of all of Alice’s mischief
I think it would take an entire freakin’ album

*sigh*
Never a dull moment…